"" Life A Bit Sweeter: Supermom....I've Got to Turn In My Cloak!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Supermom....I've Got to Turn In My Cloak!

I am a self-proclaimed supermom, superwoman, and perfectionist (well as close to humanly possible as you can get to trying to make something perfect.)  I've always been like this....I love it but it can sometimes also be my downfall.

In my latest supermom/superwoman adventures, I find myself in a bit of a pickle with this adoption.  So....it's been a week since I blogged....so not cool!  I really enjoy writing and it's a great outlet for me.  I think lately I've just been simply overwhelmed by all that must be done.  There's still paperwork to be notarized and turned in that has me totally confused.....so I ignore it which is not good at all!  Then, there's the attention needed to get some major fundraisers done.  It's so much that it can really feel like a full-time job.  The huge blessing from thisweek is that I met with a group of friends who are helping out with the planning of the fundraisers.  This is huge because I'm not one to ask others for help.  I never want to be a burden to others so generally, my rule has been that I try to do as much by myself and then I'll ask for help.  The least little moment that I feel like I might slightly be a burden, I turn away and take my superwoman cloak back.  I know...it's terrible but God is growing me in this area.  It's taken some time bu that character flaw runs deep into my childhood after my mom passed away.

My honey is not so much the adopting dad who is right there filling out forms, chatting it up on the adoption yahoo groups, or in the know about adoption lingo like DTE (dossier to Ethiopia).  Be sure to not misunderstand this as him not being excited about his daughter coming home.  He's thrilled about Selah and can't wait to hold her in his arms.  But perhaps your marriage looks something like ours....or maybe not so much.  (smile).  In our marriage, my husband is more of the 'cheerleader' type...he's not a paperwork guy and for as long as we've been married, he steers clear of forms.  When we go to the doctor's office with the kids....yep, I get handed the clipboard.  When the kids start school and the mountains of paperwork come home such as contact sheets, classroom policies, and supply list....yep, the kids come straight to mom.  They don't go to dad because they know giving it to dad means that he'll say, 'Show it to your mother.'  When it was time for us to purchase our first home, I kept the binder with all of the important docs so I'm not totally surprised that adoption paperwork is any different.  Me on the other hand, I'm not so innocent.  There are certain things that I steer clear of that are totally all his such as all yard work, taking the trash outdoors, bringing the trash cans back in from the curb, dealing with the kid's major boo boos, taking the lead on what sports activities the kids will play each season and getting them to those practices....yep, that's all his to take the lead.  I guess we've just created an unwritten 'understanding' in our marriage about certain tasks.  But now that this mama is overwhelmed, I really need to ask him for help because I really am stuck to say the least.  Yet, I know that asking him to help with it will mean me having to release the time in which it is done and how it is done...remember I said I was a perfectionist about things....forms are no different.  Or....maybe I just need to ask one of my girlfriends to walk me through this tough piece....but then I get stuck with who to ask.  We are so close to handing our dossier in but feeling also so very far away.

So, right now....there are docs to process.  We received a notice in the mail last week that freaked me out.  USCIS told us that our home study needed to be amended because a piece of our home study wasn't written as they would have liked.   I spoke to our agency's home study coordinator about it and she's trying to work it out with USCIS without having to amend the entire home study.  We'll see.  I guess to put fire under our feet, the paper informed us that if it were not completed accurately by a certain date in October, our I-600A would not be approved.  *sigh*  I know it will get done, it's just the frustration of it, that carries a cloud in my head of yet another unfinished task.

Sorry for this mind dump, but I needed it.  Sometimes everything isn't peaches and cream in the adoption journey and because I am such a transparent person, I think it's important to document the highs and the lows.  As I think about it, I think mommy really just needs a good time out....a day with no one but me, a hotel bed, room service, spa treatment, and no iPhone so that I'm not tempted to plug back into the world as I decompress.  A girl can dream, right?  (If you made it all the way to the end of this post.....thanks for letting me bend your ear....love ya much!)  As Nicole puts it, you're just one of those good girlfriends....thank you!


Angela said...

Thanks for being real! I will be praying for you my friend.

Angela said...

I understand. I really do. My husband has traditionally taken care of everything major in our home but he works away and has done so for almost 4 years now. It was hard switching gears and suddenly becoming the lead in a major event with him being away. Please take advantage of the wonderful support you have.

Cristie said...

First, I'm so excited to "Meet" you. Second, your family is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!
I laughed so hard reading this post and then listening to the girlfriends video. This is my life ... your husband must be named Doug (my hubby) or they took the "how to" classes together. I too a perfectionist and the paper pusher of all around here! Relief and refreshing to know I'm not alone. :-) Praying for a quick home study and return on the I-171. We had a hang up when we were in process for China with USCIS. Indeed, I know that freak out moment. Looking back, it was the Lord's timing ... it led us to our Maliah and to the best friends we have today that traveled with us. One moment sooner, we'd have missed out on those blessings!
Blessings, Cristie Martine

Michelle said...

Thanks ladies so much for 'getting' me here! (smile) This has been an interesting journey of growth for me.

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