"" Life A Bit Sweeter: Adoption Myth #2: We Can't Afford An Adoption

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Adoption Myth #2: We Can't Afford An Adoption

Generally speaking for most families, this is the #1 reason that often discourages a family from opening their home to an orphan.  Clearly, my family would be no different EXCEPT it's just been an incredible faith walk for us.  Because I'm going to share with you from the experience of international adoption, I'd love to hear parents chime in who are/have adopted domestically about the costs incurred whether going privately or through an agency.

To get to the nuts and bolts of it, we estimate our total adoption costs to be approximately $31,000.  Yep, that's a down-payment on a home, almost one year of state tuition for one of our kids, or perhaps even a new car.  I know that $31K could do lots in our existing family but in terms of the greatest impact on the kingdom RIGHT NOW for our family, we really believe this is it.  I mean God is going to have to come clear down from heaven to tell me that we're going the wrong direction to make me think otherwise.  That's how strong I feel that this is where God wants us to be.  Now does that mean that fear doesn't exist in my heart about where these funds are going to come from?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  There are several days when I'm marveling at how much money we've saved, how many necklaces we sell, or donations that have arrived out of the blue BUT THEN there are other days when it feels like things have just outright dried up!  As I cry out in my tears as other families are moving closer to picking up their kiddos and we are at a stale mate, through the hollowness of my tunnel of tears, it goes something like this.....HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.....GOD ARE YOU STILL THERE....THERE....THERE?  The funny thing is that often through the kindness of someone else who as my friend Pastor Jeff calls them people who are JESUS WITH SKIN ON....I clearly hear echo right back....I NEVER LEFT, LEFT, LEFT.  Oh, how I love Him.

To be totally honest with you, if you ever want to test your faith, see your faith strengthened, and become even more intimate in your relationship with God, I dare you to ask Him to break your heart for something that breaks His that is beyond anything that you can accomplish in your own power.  There is NOTHING in my capacity that can fund this vision by myself but you know what, GOD HAS COMPLETELY ENLARGED MY TERRITORY AND MY LIFE EXPERIENCE.  I have grown in ways that are unimaginable.  I OFTEN have to look back in the mirror because I can't believe this is MY life.  Glory to God when you exchange your Will for His.  He funds the vision.  He uses others to partner with you to make it happen.  I have been SO BLESSED by the number and diversity of people who have come into my life.  People whom I would have never met otherwise.

But back to the MONEY FACTOR, the hangup that many people have is that orphanage leaders and governments are getting fatter pockets by exploiting children through this process.  What do I have to say about that?  YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT but that's when it's up to you to do your homework.  Human trafficking is very real throughout the world.  Slavery has not ended.  It's important that before you sign with an agency, that you look at their financial history, leaders, and the full disclosure of the breakdown of the fees.  In the case with our adoption, our fees goes toward things like processing documents in the United States and Ethiopia, background checks, passports, home study by a certified social worker, travel and lodging for two trips to Ethiopia for me and Tony, some fees to pay the workers at our agency --yes, they have a family and have to take care of them too, orphanage medical care for our child, and the list goes on and on.  (If you'd like to see a breakdown, send me an e-mail at michelle365@me.com and I'd be glad to share it with you.)

So can me and Tony really have the capacity to whip out a check and complete our adoption?  ABSOLUTELY NOT but as another adopting parent encouraged me once before, "But my God owns a cattle on a thousand hills and all I need is ONE!"  It's been awesome seeing God move and being able to participate in a miracle in the making.  Feel free to join us in our journey or take a look below about how God has moved in the lives of others to fund what is really HIS desire for the fatherless to be set in families (see Psalm 58:5-6).



The Davidsons said...

I love this blog!! It's always full of so much goodness. Thanks!

Eve said...

Very open and honest blog post, and so powerful to share your stepping out in faith regarding the hill you are climbing.

What a wonderful testimony, even now.

The Bobo Family said...

Thanks so much for this post Michelle. It is exactly what I needed to read at this moment. We are in one of those "dried up" moment right now and it can be so scary at times. But you are so right-God is right here, He never leaves us and He will provide--in HIS time! This process is teaching me so much more than I ever thought possible! You are awesome--Thanks again!


Michelle said...

@The Davidsons: Thanks so much! I mean I really, really appreciate that comment. It really encourages me to continue to write and share my findings and experiences. hugs!

@Eve: I can't wait until your season opens up but also just adore seeing God preparing you and your honey for when 'the day' comes! (INSERT MY BIG CHEESY SMILE HERE!)

Rubeinna: No, you are awesome! You know I totally feel you and many others do too so just remember God has not forgotten you.

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