Pretenders

I remember when Tony and I first started dating, he took me to a professional basketball game.  In fact, I think it was around the time when the Washington Bullets were becoming the Washington Wizards.  Well, I have never been into sports but Tony was a HUGE sports fan.  Being the sports fan that he is, he invited me to a game.  Well, let's just say I desperately wanted to impress him.  In the middle of the game, he decided that he would go get us a soda and slice of pizza.  I said no problem.  Well somehow, in my air-brained brilliance, I decided that I would pretend that I was following the game.  It must have been from the corner of my eye that I saw he was approaching our seat section again.  In seeing that I had to do something to make him think this little mama knew something about the game.  Well, all of a sudden every body stood up and started cheering and so I did too!  I mean I was rooting and pumping my fist and he saw me.  I knew I was in with him....I mean I had it down UNTIL he reached our seat and said, "What happened?"  Oh my goodness!  I was devastated because I didn't have an answer.  I never calculated in my little quick plan that I would have to keep this charade going....I mean, who told him he could ask me questions!!!  LOL

That experience has taught me well that it is important to be who you are and let people see that in you.  As we approach our home study visits this weekend, I know that these visits are no different.  No matter how bad we want to make a 'good impression' on our social worker and no matter how badly we want this adoption to go through, we have to be ourselves.  We believe God chose US, not our stand-ins or understudies, to go through this journey.  Already, we've had to face our fears of having to be totally vulnerable in our biographies.  There's always the question of, even as we are children, 'Will they still like me if I show them the real me?"  Whether you're dating a man/woman, applying to get into college, or going through the adoption process, the answer has to be....It doesn't matter.  This is who I am.  What God has for me is for me.

The funny thing is that after all of that basketball drama and taking down my mask and showing him who I really was, Tony still chose me.  And you know what, this girl still doesn't know a lick about sports!

Here's a song that absolutely makes me happy every time I hear it and reminds me that I'm okay just the way I am with all of my bumps, bruises, and mess-ups...and in all of that God still loves me....

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me


Free To Be Me

Francesca Battistelli | MySpace Music Videos