"" Life A Bit Sweeter: Grading Myself As A Parent

Friday, April 9, 2010

Grading Myself As A Parent

Wow! I've really appreciated the GREAT advice I received from you guys.  You have really helped this mama out in ways that you probably will never understand.  If you're in the dark with regards to what I'm talking about, I'm speaking of a situation I had the other night with my youngest son, MJ.  I had to choose whether or not to stay in-town and go to his playoff game or go out-of-town to my Nana's funeral.   I was so super conflicted that this mama put a S.O.S. for help to the blog world (see it here).  After such great advice from both sides of the coin (to go or not go), I've decided to go to my Nana's funeral and do some extra special things for MJ with regard to his game.

The underlying feeling that sank in my heart was whether or not I was being a good parent and making the best choice for my son.  As I began to ponder my specific issue more, I started thinking that many parents struggle with whether or not they're doing a good enough job raising their children.  Sometimes we may put so many expectations on ourselves as parents because of the way that we were raised or 'not raised'.  We can also put high expectations on ourselves as parents because we can fall into the trap of comparing ourselves or our kids to someone else's family.  Those are times when we can feel like we are totally blowing it as parents. 

But then, there are those days when I'm sitting on my front porch, the boys are playing, and the breeze is kissing my cheeks.  It's in those moments when I stop and take it all in and realize how blessed I am to have such an amazing family...perhaps I am doing a great job as a parent.

The trouble with this up and down roller coaster report card that I can sometimes mentally give myself is that I'm not always sure where this measuring stick is coming from.  I know we have really great kids but am I really doing my absolute best?  Should I be doing more/better? 

What about you?  When do you feel like you might be blowing it as a parent and when do you feel proud of yourself as a parent?  How do you measure success as a parent?


Unknown said...

We should always be doing more, but at what expense? Give yourself a great big hug and know that you are doing a great job as a Mom. We can see that in your children's eyes, their bright smiles and the LOVE they show to everyone. Signed, Deborah NOT Cameron :-)

Michelle said...

...thought Cameron was breaking down some wisdom to me...(smile). Thanks Deborah.

Angela said...

Michelle, I didn't write much in rationalizing my opinion as the others, but I want to let you know from experience, you're making the right decision. I've missed a couple of home going celebrations of family members over the years due to other "important" occasions, and if I could do it all over again, I would.

I've learned even more now that my son is a young adult, how we teach our children more about life through our actions and decisions we make. There isn't a right or wrong decision in your delimma, but there's so much your baby will learn by watching you, such as sometimes we have to sacrifice our desires in order to be there for others (like Jesus did when he died for our sins), and the importance of honoring elders and extended family.

I thought I made right decisions at the time thinking my child would be scarred if I wasn't there for every milestone, but little did I realize he would grow up to crave the experience of a large extended family. We all know most extended families gather for funerals if no other time. This is important for children to experience.

We will never get everything right in parenting and there's always something we'll look back and regret. Your baby will remember this game, but he'll also remember the important value of family you've instilled in him by choosing to go the your Nana's funeral.

Watch you baby's game on video tommorow and scream everytime he shoots a hoop or catches a pass! God Bless.

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