If you've ever been pregnant before or know someone who has, there comes a time during around that last month when all you really want is to deliver. You've gone through the excitement of the first few weeks of finding out you're expecting and announcing the news to everyone who has ears. Those first few flutters of the baby moving catch you off guard and bring a big smile to your face. You've gone through the months of feeling your baby kick for the first few times. You've even started working on decorating the nursery and start nesting like nobody's business....all in anticipation of the arrival of your baby. So theoretically, your child should be all ready to arrive during that 40th week at least but man, every birth story doesn't read that methodically. There are some deliveries that are delayed and as a mom, no matter how much you really want to 'deliver already', you must wait.
That's where I find myself. I know all the Christian-ese of our daughter arriving in God's time and I hold strong to that. If I can be totally honest about where I am today, I am just T-I-R-E-D. Like many adopting parents, I have been in spiritual warfare through this adoption like nobody's business...seriously, like nothing I've experienced before. The warfare has been so intense lately that there are fleeting moments when I'm not even sure that it's still going to happen. I am emotionally and physically spent. We've been on this journey since Fall 2009 and it has not been an easy one. If it is true, I feel like satan has unleashed all of his 'big guns' and I kid you not, I know that it is only God's grace and mercy that is sustaining me. For that I'm thankful. So pray for me, us, and all that is to come that His will be done.
